In the game Together

"The little things in life are actually the big things, believe Anant Sharma and Meghna Mishra. Accept each other, trust the process and live in the moment, says this Bhopal based couple. While Anant is a branding and marketing specialist turned entrepreneur, Meghna is a soft skills trainer and writer. This is their simple but sweet story"

Pop culture sells love as a grand feeling, complete with superlative gestures, roses and violins. But, the fact of the matter is, those are just the trappings. The real deal, as those couples who are in it for the long haul will have you know, is something far more low-key yet enduring.

Loving your partner at their lowest. Fixing them a meal to say sorry. Laughing at the most absurd jokes together, grooving to the funniest music, and giggling some more. Sharing a cuppa at 2 am, and a million other moments that are far from glamorous, but make the marital journey that much more companionable.

Meghna Mishra and Anant Sharma would affirm all of this and more. Married for seven years, the 30 something couple has prioritised a partnership that makes space for each other and their respective dreams. Even if it means swimming against the current or taking decisions that go against conventional notions of success. And that’s precisely what makes this story so heartwarming.

Back to the beginning

Back to the beginning This love story was first scripted in 2017, in a newspaper office of Bhopal. Then working as a journalist, Meghna, just like others on the editorial team, was a little wary of Anant Sharma, the new management chap who had joined, ostensibly to spruce up operations. Like everyone else, she kept her distance, observing how he went about work. “Until one day, when he actually needed my help contacting someone important,” she reminisces. “I gave Anant the number,” she smiles, but then, mischievously asked him “What’s in it for me?”.

To which he asked what she wanted. Spontaneously, she blurted out, “A date.” A good, well-spoken guy, she told herself. Also, someone who dresses well. The chat should be fun.

Anant agreed. Though he was convinced this was some sort of a trick that the editorial had come up with, to figure him out.

“That’s how we ended up at a pub together, on what he insists was a date. It wasn’t. We just spent an hour together after work. To my shock, here was a pure-veg guy, who was a teetotaller to boot,” laughs Meghna. “I asked myself, what am I doing in this company anyway?”

As it turned out, this was just the start of a whole new chapter in their lives. The attraction, despite the differences, was instantaneous. “He is the calm to my storm,” she says. “He has a very reassuring presence about him; in fact, when he enters a room, his energy helps diffuse a tense situation.”

On his part, he appreciates her spontaneity and honesty. “She is someone who is very pure at heart. What’s in her heart shows up on her face. Such authenticity is refreshing. It’s a quality to be cherished,” says Anant.

And so, they dated for some time, carefully keeping their relationship under wraps given their common workplace. Nevertheless, there were other tough conversations that needed to be had before they committed to each other. “I have struggled with mental health issues since I was a child,” says Meghna. In a country that doesn’t quite understand what mental health actually entails, being diagnosed with a schizoaffective disorder and bipolarity, is challenging indeed.

“I was seven when I first began showing the symptoms. At school, my teachers wondered why despite my potential, especially as a writer, I wouldn’t apply myself more. They just didn’t understand the auditory-visual hallucinations, the one-sided conversations, the depression that someone with my condition grapples with. It is genetic, and it is real,” she shares. "To this day, my near and dear ones don’t quite understand my condition, but support me all the same. If I were to marry, my life partner would have to be educated on it too,” she adds.

“As my mom kept cautioning Anant: Being a caregiver to a wife with such a condition is not for the faint-hearted. I have good days, bad days, terrible days. How would he cope with it?” recounts Meghna. “She did not keep Anant in the dark in any way. What’s more, I did not want kids as I did not wish to pass my condition on.” And yet, Anant was not the one to be put off. He was going to commit to Meghna and that was that.

“We need to understand that mental health is a condition that needs care, consideration and direction, just like any other health issue. People with these challenges are as normal as the next person, and should be treated as such,” expresses Anant. In short, he says, mental health challenges are not to be feared, just understood and accepted.

Meanwhile, Meghna is an eloquent and passionate advocate for mental health awareness, as her candid blogs and articles showcase.

"Trust, compan ionship, under standing, and the abil ity to make each other laugh—above all, you should be yourself with your partner. Rough patches are inevitable. What is important is to fight together, for each other"

— Meghna Mishra

From strength to strength

Life post their 2018 nuptials has been hectic but rewarding, even as the couple has constantly moved cities for work — from Bhopal to Jalandhar to Jaipur to Hyderabad to Bhopal once again.

There have also been career shifts. Anant is now a self-employed entrepreneur, offering his branding and marketing know-how to various organisations, and a pranic healer. While, Meghna is a soft skills trainer and writer, and soon to turn author as well.

Amidst the rough and tumble of work, the duo is careful to delineate quality time for each other—long drives, deep chats and laughter— savouring every moment together. “These days, couples are so busy planning for the future that they forget to live in the moment. And, that’s such a loss really,” says Anant.

At the same time, he points out that spending time together is not necessarily about splurging on dinners, drinks and endless outings. “A simple home-cooked meal, a cup of coffee, a series watched together…all of this counts,” he says. “We can enjoy ourselves in very little.” A point worth considering, especially for couples caught in a consumerist culture.

Given that they have been together for several years, what as per them, are the pillars of a marriage? “Trust, companionship, understanding, and the ability to make each other laugh. Above all, you should be yourself with your partner. Rough patches are inevitable. What is important is to fight together, for each other,” says Meghna.

For Anant, though, a strong marriage is founded on a shared belief in each other, creating space and a support system for one’s partner. “Trust the process,” he says. “We are in the game together, and we are in it for better or for worse,” he rounds off.

THE MANTRAS OF MARRIAGE

• Acceptance, support, trust
• Deep conversations
• Ability to laugh together
• Prioritising each other
• Educating yourself on the challenges faced by your partner