Steadfast and Sweet

Corporate couple Michelle and Austin Noronha, believe in the power of adjustment, acceptance and shared workload, to keep home and office in harmony. A beautiful friendship that has evolved over time, their common Mangalorean Catholic roots and above all their commitment to family, keeps this Mumbai-based couple going strong. Six-yearold daughter, Myra, completes the circle

When Michelle Noronha decides to cook her famous biryani or try out her homegrown recipes, like Mangalorean Chicken Kori Roti, she likes to take her time. No jhatpat, quick-fix stuff for her. “Some flavours simply cannot be hurried,” she will have you know. Husband Austin waits ever so patiently and ensures their Myra that the wait will be worth it.

In a way, the cooking is symbolic of their relationship. Redolent with the flavours of a time-tested friendship, garnished with the sweetness of friends and family, similar roots, and above all a shared value system.

"The problem with many couples of our generation is that we have lost the art of adjustment. No one wants to give an inch, which is a pity, because it’s the peculiarities of the spouse that make things fun"

-Austin Noronha

Back to the beginning

This love story was first scripted at an intercollegiate festival in Mumbai. Commerce students both, Michelle and Austin, despite being from different colleges, had common friends. From the get-go, the conversation flowed easily. “I was a quiet chap, and moreover, I mainly had guys as friends. It was fun to meet this exuberant, talkative girl,” he smiles.

The fest was over in a few days. But, out of sight wasn’t out of mind for Michelle. “It was the early 2000s. I didn’t have a mobile or a landline at home. So, I would make a beeline for the PCOs and call him,” she grins.

The conversation was the lifeline for the relationship, given the distances between their Mumbai homes. “Santacruz, where I live, and Mira Road, his residence, are a fairly big distance in commuting time,” says Michelle. “So, we would mainly talk on the phone,” she adds.

Even as they discussed career goals and dreams, love of food, movies, and shared beliefs, the friendship went from strength to strength. Add to it the fact that both had parents working abroad, so there was that added sense of responsibility that comes from having handled oneself from an early age.

Despite the ease they felt in each other’s company, both took it one day at a time. For one, they were studying. While Michelle followed up her B.Com degree with a diploma in journalism and mass communication, Austin pursued his MCA.

“Secondly, love marriage isn’t a regular thing in our home. We had to be very sure about each other before we told our parents,” Austin says. While Michelle’s parents were relatively open to her choices, Austin had to be doubly certain of his feelings before he told his traditional parents. Sometime in 2007, two years after they first met, Austin confessed his feelings: “I think I am in love with you.”

Time had worked its magic, as had Michelle’s meetings with his friends and family. “They were used to her coming over, and really liked her,” he says.

Nevertheless, it would be four more years before they were finally wed in 2011.

The building blocks of a marriage

As of now, Michelle is working as associate director, events and marketing at Exchange4media, while Austin is senior engineering manager at Accrete.AI. Life is hectic, what with demanding schedules, Mumbai’s tough work ethic, not to forget a playful six-year-old. But the couple has worked out a fine work-life balance. “My schedule has me staying out late nights as I am an event manager. But he is a very hands-on dad and husband, and shares the workload,” she says.

The hybrid work-mode that has work-fromhome for a couple of days a week, helps too.

Apart from work, both have distinct pastimes. Austin loves his anime (Japanese cartoons) and South Indian action films, while Michelle enjoys Rom-Coms. Quality time together consists of cooking together and binge-watching Netflix.

Considering that they’ve been married for 13 years and known each other much longer, what as per both are the pillars of a marriage? “Communication, respect, understanding and space,” says Michelle at once.

Austin would add trust and adjustment to the mix. “We absolutely trust each other, through travel, late night, and distances. When you have each other’s backs, it all works out,” he says.

That, and allowing room for the other’s little foibles, likes and peculiarities. “The problem with many couples of our generation is that we have lost the art of adjustment. No one wants to give an inch, which is a pity, because it’s the peculiarities of the spouse that make things fun,” he says. “Take, for instance, Michelle’s love of indoor plants. She wanted her own green space in Mumbai. I never cared for them initially, but I have grown to enjoy them too,” he adds.

Perhaps, this is why they rarely have fullblown-fullblown fights. “When differences arise, we make it a point not to go to bed angry. Everything must be resolved inside of 24 hours; it keeps things from festering,” says Michelle. “It helps that he is mature and calm.”

THE MANTRAS OF MARRIAGE

• Trust
• Respect
• Shared values and goals

Bringing up baby—ever so gentle parenting

Like other couples, their little girl Myra is the apple of their eyes. Unlike the traditional and strict model of parenting, Michelle and Austin believe in the power of gentle parenting, which would mean calmly explaining things, without shouting or hitting the child. They are also great friends with the little one.

“We take things easy and let her be. She is a happy and respectful little girl, not because we lecture her. Children have a way of picking up what they see,” Michelle says. She shares these tips on her Instagram page, being a diligent parenting influencer and content creator.

Academics are important, but both want their daughter to take up an extra-curricular activity, whether it’s sports or art. “As of now, she is quite the busy little artist who loves to dabble with art and craft,” says Michelle. “Above all, we want her to grow up into a kind little girl. That’s as important as any other accomplishment,” she rounds off.