Two’s Company

Rashika Chanchlani and Rahul Mewani on the importance of friendship, family and togetherness. What, according to both, are the cementing factors in a marriage

Both Rashika and Rahul share the same birthday—January 14 (2 years apart). And, while Rahul didn’t think much of it, shrugging it off as a coincidence, for Rashika, this fact did ring a bell. “I am quite filmi that way,” she laughs. “I did wonder if this friend of mine was indeed a soulmate".

The feel-good instinct about him was also backed by facts. After all, both are alike and opposite—in a way that complements the other partner and solidifies the relationship. “We have similar tastes in music, are thorough foodies, and are driven by family,” she says.

Despite the attraction and compatibility, the relationship took its time; it evolved over six years of friendship, courtship, question marks and other issues. “And yet, Rahul has been with me through thick and thin,” points out Rashika.

This relationship goes back to 2007 when Chhatrapati Sambhaji Nagar (previously Aurangabad) based Rahul came to Pune for studies. That’s how he was introduced to Rashika, also a student, two years his junior. She has done her MBA in advertising from Symbiosis International University, while he completed his B.Com from Ness Wadia College of Commerce, followed by a degree in tourism and a stint with his family business, before striking out on his own.

From the outset, the conversation between the duo flowed easily and comfortably. “Like me, he’s very family oriented,” says Rashika. “When he met my parents for the first time, he touched their feet. I found the gesture humble and touching,” she says.

From strength to strength

Rashika would go on to discover that Rahul’s respect for elders is rooted in pretty much the same things she values, namely meaningful relationships. Nevertheless, given their personal circumstances and assorted obstacles, it would take them some time to commit to each other.

"There was this moment of epiphany when I realised that she was the one for me. And I was very confident from the outset that we would have a good life together, smiles Rahul. “We are good friends, after all."

It helps that they are both appreciative of each other’s strengths. Rahul marvels at how decisive Rashika is. “She has clarity on so many things and is a very smart, intelligent person. Apart from this, she is a very family-oriented and loving girl.”

Meanwhile, she appreciates him for being organised and mature. “I am quite the last-minute person, but he is so well organised in day-to-day life,” she says. “Besides, he is so much like my father - rock-solid and strong".

The pillars of a marriage

Life post-marriage is hectic but rewarding. She runs her own advertising company, while he is a real estate consultant. Despite juggling hectic schedules, work-life balance is not tough. “We work out of the same office,” grins Rahul. “Plus, we share household chores. And, I don’t think the work around the house is gender-specific. It is important to support your partner and help out in every way,” he says.

Quality time together consists of making a deliberate effort to spend quiet time together. “Small moments, even if it means unwinding before television, or having a small chat after a hard day’s work, mean a lot,” says Rashika. “Of course, we do plan one elaborate vacation every year".

Given that both of them are entrepreneurs and self-employed, what advice would they give to other entrepreneurial couples about dealing with the insecurities and vagaries that come with the turf? “Plan ahead,” says Rahul. “Since one’s income varies from month to month, it is important to put aside the amount that covers your fixed expenses before you spend. With a little discipline, everything works out well".

What, according to both, are the cementing factors in a marriage? “I’ve learnt that nothing tops respect. Life can be difficult if you don’t treat your partner with courtesy,” says Rashika. “Everything starts with respect, everything flows from there".

On his part, Rahul would add trust to the list. “Trusting your partner, having faith in them, their judgements and choices, is hugely important as well. I respect her for who she is and trust her fully".

Similarly, little gestures go a long way. Flowers and handwritten notes, care and consideration, telling your partner they are important to you are all important. “I used to be very practical,” says Rahul wryly. “I would consider giving flowers a waste of money, but that has changed”.

Clearly, there’s something to be said about appreciating the fragrance and colour however fleeting.

Conflict management

Inevitably, fights do happen between two thinking, intelligent people. But just like every couple, both Rashika and Rahul have their own way of dealing with the differences that crop up. “It is important for one person at least to stay calm when the other is letting off steam. Discuss difficult issues with your spouse only when they have cooled down. Things look different when considered with a composed bent of mind,” he says. “Talking things out, like mature individuals, is the way to go. Things are said in the heat of the moment, but one has to let go and look at the bigger picture".

Parenthood is important for this couple, only not just yet. “At the moment, we are busy with work and securing our future,” says Rashika. “But we definitely look forward to being parents at some point in time".

And she has every intention of continuing with work, considering Rahul’s unflagging support. “He is well-travelled, mature and broad-minded. He has no gender bias whatsoever and like everything else, he will back me up in this regard as well,” she rounds off.

THE MANTRAS OF MARRIAGE

• Respect and trust
• Friendship
• Shared values
• Quality time together
• Respecting and cherishing family
• Dividing household chores equally