Happiness deserves another chance

Corporate professionals Shivangi Dalvi and her significant half Kaustav Mitra, on how love conquers all— circumstances, socio cultural backgrounds, social pressure and constraints. This is their heartwarming story, and this is how they tell it

Mumbai-based professional Shivangi Dalvi is breaking new ground. Not only was she crowned winner in the plus category at the Mrs India Empress of the Nation 2024 recently, she’s emerging as an increasingly loud voice for body positivity and inclusivity. Apart from her fast-emerging career as a plus sized model, she handles her existing career as an employee engagement coordinator in an US based travel and leisure company. This, when she’s not making friends and family crack up at her jokes. “I’ve never tried my hand at stand-up comedy. But, I have comic timing and a sense of fun…so maybe I should,” she grins.

In all of the above, her greatest support and cheerleader is her husband Kaustav Mitra, who also works in the same company as executive director and travel loyalty solutions advisor.

Life is hectic but rewarding, for the couple has had the courage to take a shot at happiness a second time around.

Back to the beginning

This love story was scripted almost a decade ago even as Shivangi reported to Kaustav at a tele net company they were both working for. It was a gradual progression of events given that they were married to different people at the time. “He was my super boss. While I did not report to him, I used to quite admire his communication skills and ability to make people comfortable,” shares Shivangi.

A seed of friendship grew; both were going through their respective divorces, so the relationship took its time blossoming and evolving into a new shade for both.

“We started off as colleagues, moved onto being friends, and then after carefully considering the second time decision to get married, we tied the knot,” shares Kaustav.

"Instead of bracketing yourselves into stereotypical roles of being ‘husband’ and ‘wife’, look at each other as two human beings with feel look at each other as two human beings with feelings and a need for respect, care and space. That’s what ultimately builds a deep and lasting bond"

-Kaustav Mitra

From strength to strength

“Actually, he entered my life at a most difficult time,” recounts Shivangi.“My first marriage had broken down; I was already a mother and a professional—and only just 24. So yes, we have seen each other through a difficult learning curve,” says Shivangi.

Initially, neither had romance on their mind. “Far from being the case, he was a well-wisher. He tried to help me fix my first marriage,” she says.

But destiny had other plans for both, as both their marriages unravelled.“We realised we valued similar things; we were able to appreciate each other’s humour—plus our birthdays are only eight days apart. Still, we took it slow and easy and just went with the flow,” says Shivangi.

A courtship of eight years was followed by their wedding a year and a half ago.“The wedding ceremonies paid due homage to both our backgrounds—my Marathiroots and his Bengali background. It was beautiful,” Shivangi reminisces.

Despite the cultural differences, both are similar personalities.“We are both outgoing, optimistic and embrace life with positivity. I am a firm believer in the law of attraction, and so is he,” she says.

Considering that both have been through difficult relationships, and found happiness through remarriage, what advice would they have for people in similar circumstances? “While it’s true that second marriages are still a taboo in India, learn from your mistakes and imbibe those learnings. Be grateful for that second chance that not everyone gets and ensure it’s a successful journey,” says Shivangi.

Kaustav would add, “Instead of bracketing yourselves into stereotypical roles of being ‘husband’ and ‘wife’, look at each other as two human beings with feelings and a need for respect, care and space. That’s what ultimately builds a deep and lasting bond.”

What, according to both, are the pillars of a marriage? Says Kaustav, “The first word on the wishlist would be trust. This should be closely followed by respect; we need to respect each other for who they are. In Indian families, gender roles tend to be pretty fixed. When the man returns from work, it is expected that the lady of the house should get a glass of water. Why can’t it be the other way round? So, let’s respect each other as individuals first. Third, compatibility is very important. A relationship where you can openly sit and talk it out, and respect suggestions is that is likely to work.”

Shivangi chips in, “Remember, that both of you are two different people with different needs. Both need to stand by each other in matters big and small, make each other comfortable, take care of little things—for that’s the stuff that adds up.”

How does work-life balance work out since they are both working for the same company? “There is nothing to balance frankly because we are together at work and at home,” grins Kaustav.

Of course, both are conscientious about drawing the line between their personal and professional roles, but since both are aware of what’s happening at work, they are able to give each other the space and support they need.

“On the flip side, it does happen, sometimes, that there’s nothing new to talk about. That’s when we head out for one of our coffee dates,” says Shivangi. Avid coffee drinkers both, they return after a session of gup-shup and fun gossip, rejuvenated to the fullest.

Families are all about love

Shivangi and Kaustav have gone the extra mile to include her son from her first marriage in their circle of love. “As an Indian mom, explaining to my ten-year-old that I am now married to someone else has not been easy,” she exhales. “When my son met Kaustav for the first time, he was reluctant and hesitant. But today, they are the best of friends. He respects Kaustav and enjoys his company,” says Shivangi.

While the couple looks forward to starting their own family, Shivangi is firm about pointing out that she’s already a proud mommy to a gang of three boys. “We must include our two fur babies, our lab retrievers in the equation as well. Anyone who loves animals will understand how pets bring in joy and laughter into the equation,” she says.

“That said, we would love a daughter as well—to bring in a dash of grace and glamour,” she laughs.

Celebrating differences

While he is a proud Bengali, she’s Maharashtrian. So how easily does the twain meet? “Adjustment is easy when you love each other,” smiles Shivangi. Over the years, she has made the effort to learn all about Durga puja and Bengali delicacies, while Kaustav looks forward to the Ganesha celebrations with delicious Modaks and Shankarpale. “We celebrate each other’s culture, and each other. We are the richer for it,” rounds off Shivangi.

THE MANTRAS OF MARRIAGE

• Respecting each other’s dreams
• Taking care of your spouse’s needs, in matters big or small.
• Going past gender roles and sharing the chores and burdens
• Love and laughter