In quest of the Perfect Rhyme

"Entrepreneurial couple Gurpreet Singh and Japleen Kaur Johar are soulmates in the true sense. While he owns his own media and production house, a one-stop getaway for shooting videos, podcasts and portfolio, she is a designer. This is their story, and this is how they tell it "

Whenever time permits, Gurpreet and Japleen like to dabble in shayari— be it in Hindi, Punjabi or Urdu. “I enjoy finding the perfect word to complete a line, a word that rhymes and conveys the mood as well,” smiles Japleen. Gurpreet joins in too.

Unsurprising, really, both are expressive and artistic souls in their own way—Gurpreet has chosen photography and videography as his medium, and Japleen, has cloth for a canvas. This, despite their strong academic qualifications—he’s an MBA in marketing while she has both BBA and B.Ed. degrees.

But life, they believe, is far too short to be wasted on occupations they don’t enjoy or values they don’t resonate with. “On the face of it, both Japleen and I are different people. I love adventure, she loves to shop. Both our souls— well they are the same,” expresses Gurpreet. “Both of us are also inclined towards spirituality, culture and poetry.”

Little wonder then, when they connected online, it didn’t take time for the conversation to flow. Both are Sikhs—close to their families, and fans of Sufi music.

Despite the easy connection, Japleen, a resident of Ludhiana, Punjab, was hesitant to agree to a future away from her home city. “You see, I was brought up by a single mother as dad passed away early. My sister is married and settled in Patiala, which is close by. But, Pune was so far away,” she shares. “Besides, I have separation anxiety. I wondered, how on Earth I would manage so far away from what I have always known.”

Nevertheless, she liked Gurpreet enough to contemplate the painful separation. “He is respectful, gentle and caring. Wonderful qualities in a man,” she says.

On his part, Gurpreet was pretty sure that in ‘Jap’ (as he calls her), he had found the perfect woman. “Growing up, I have always admired the love and partnership between my parents. I wanted that for myself too. And, when I saw Jap, I knew she was the one,” he smiles. “She is a family-oriented person just like me and fit in beautifully with all of us—mom, dad and my younger sister Manpreet,” he says.

Home is a feeling

So seamless has the bonding between Jap and his parents been that people wonder if Gurpreet is the son-in-law, and she, their daughter. “You know, I am blessed to have my in-laws. From the get-go, they have been supportive and caring. Sure, adjustment took time, but not much. The kind of security and well-being you feel being with elders who understand you and guide you, is not easy to express,” she says.

But, the joint family that they live in is not quite the norm these days. In fact, most couples prefer nuclear living arrangements. “That’s true,” agrees Gurpreet. “To succeed as a joint family, each one must play their part. The elders, as well as the youngsters in the family. Space, boundaries, understanding and respecting each other, are a must. It’s a fine balance to achieve. But when you do, there’s nothing quite like it. Strengths are multiplied; problems are halved. Even fights don’t escalate because there are elders to put a stop to them,” he says.

Japleen agrees. “Marriage is never just between two people. It is between two families,” she says. “Living with elders, you learn in months, what experience would have taken years to teach you. It is a blessing in so many ways,” she says. “So much so that when in-laws are away from home, it doesn’t feel like home.”

Schedules are hectic given Gurpreet’s shoots, and Japleen’s customised clothing business, however both love their work. Japleen, especially, started out as a designer with support and encouragement from Gurpreet. “Before marriage, given my academic background, I worked in an immigration firm for close to five years,” she says. “But clothes have always fascinated me as mom owns a boutique. Customising clothes, from bridal wear to ethnic and daily wear clothes, both Indian and Western, is a labour of love for me. It is an art and a craft, that needs precision and expertise,” she says. “Despite my initial hesitance, I started accepting orders, and since then, there has been no looking back,” she says.

Ever the supportive husband, Gurpreet is admiring of his wife’s talent and passion for her work. “She absolutely deserves to succeed; she is good at what she does.”

The building blocks of home

As they complete three years of marriage, what as per both, are the pillars of a marriage? “Marriage, to my mind, is the start of adult life in true sense. And, it must be based on respect. Love is important, yes, but respect must come first,” he says. “With respect, you are able to build understanding and compassion as well.”

While, Japleen would vote for care, concern, understanding, and giving each other a sense of security. “Standing by each other through thick and thin is what a true partnership is all about,” she says.

Adds Gurpreet, “Share your thoughts, traumas, innermost fears and hopes honestly with your spouse. That’s the way to build a healthy bond.”

So, how do the duo resolve differences when they arise? “Well, you have to observe and understand what triggers your spouse in the first place. When that happens, take a step back and let them express themselves. I have my pain points; he has his. After all, each one is a product of their circumstances, traumas, disappointments and beliefs. But, once you adapt to each other’s personality and respect each other’s likes and dislikes, you learn to resolve fights quickly,” says Japleen.

Quality time together consists of playing indoor games with everyone else. “Games like sequence and ludo, are engaging and inclusive. Everyone can enjoy them together. Similarly, whenever we entertain, we treat our guests to a game of a tambola,” says Gurpreet.

Other than this, the duo enjoys dinners out and trips to cool places such as Kashmir and hill stations. Like most couples, Gurpreet and Japleen look forward to welcoming their own children in due course. “Whenever that happens, we will enjoy parenthood to the full. And while times have changed, we look forward to bringing them up to value human relationships above all,” rounds off Gurpreet.

After all, humanity is as timeless as the Sufi music they both love.

"Marriage, to my mind, is the start of adult life in true sense. And it must be based on respect. Love is important, yes, but respect must come. With respect, you are able to build understanding and compassion as well"

— Gurpreet Singh

THE MANTRAS OF MARRIAGE

• Respecting each other’s dreams
• Shared passions and hobbies
• Respecting and accepting each other’s family
• Love and care