Success stories are aplenty in the corporate world but how many give credit to strong ties to the family for their achievements? Leading corporate leader Sanjay Bali who is presently the senior vice president of Samsung Electronics India (P) Ltd and his ever-smiling wife, Mala, a former HR head in leading companies and now a consultant, are a rare couple who have laid the foundation of their married life on a firm family footing, where both their parents have played a crucial role in their happy, contented and successful married life.
Also, the Balis have broken the Indian tradition (except in some pockets of the country such as the North Eastern states) where a bride gets married and lives with her husband’s family. When Sanjay proposed to Mala, she was committed to taking care of her parents in their sunset years and they were already 70 and 80 years old respectively. It was a case of ‘marry me, marry us’. Without batting an eyelid, Sanjay agreed and they moved in with her parents after they got married.
Both Sanjay and Mala were able to climb the corporate ladder and achieve stupendous success. Their two sons grew up in their grandmothers’ loving care while the young couple found their feet at their workplace. While both reside in a plush neighbourhood of Delhi and have an expansive home with classy furniture, décor and vibrant paintings that depict their love for art, their humility, simplicity and warmth are lessons on how culture and morals need not be forgotten with affluence. Also, bringing up children is a blend of the sweet and sour, of love and discipline.
Corporate Citizen spoke to both of them to find out what it takes to achieve the best in the corporate world, live in a joint family shoulder the responsibility of bringing up two children.
So, first in the line of questions was, how did they meet? Sanjay, the quieter of the two says, “Ours is a love marriage. We were working together at Eicher Motors in Chandigarh when we met. During the two years we were there, we liked each other and decided to get married.’’ Sanjay graduated from Symbiosis Institute of Business Management (SIBM) while Mala graduated in MA in HR &IR from Tata Institute of Social Sciences (TISS), Mumbai, joined Eicher as a Management Trainee.
Jab we met…
The relationship cemented when Mala who by then was living on her own got ill and Sanjay stretched out a hand to help. Says Mala,“I was laid up and he took charge, got hold of a doctor and was there every evening to get me all I needed.’ Adds Sanjay, “We’d become good friends. I was genuinely concerned about her. I was not just doing my job or trying to look good. When I popped the question you could have knocked me down with a feather with her ideas of looking after her parents and moving in with them. Let’s just say that sorted she became quite relaxed and I was left stewing.’’
With marriage went Mala’s job. “It was an Eicher policy to promote professionalism at work. So spouses and relatives could not work together and one of us had to go. Sadly it was me. With Sanjay moving in with us it was unfair to expect him to give up his job as well”.
Son-in-law moves in1992 was an eventful year – getting married, having our own apartment, becoming a contract worker with employment renewed every 3 months and shuttling between Delhi and Chandigarh – parent’s home and mine was quite a hoof! Adds Sanjay, “And what about me? In 1993 I was transferred to Eicher Faridabad and wound up Chandigarh on my own as you were expecting and laid up. Barely had I moved in and there was Aditeya – everything happened too quickly.
Did his parents have any objections? “What do you think? Living in Kota, dad working in the Railways, mom a housewife they were quite shocked and really apprehensive. Meeting Mala and her parent’s, finding they were really old and health issues were genuine helped but to say they accepted my moving in with them would be untrue. That came with time and finding common roots like our fathers’ villages in Pakistan were 30 miles apart. That was a big cementing factor as the parents got to know each other better. Without us around they formed their own equations and got along just fine.
I took Sanjay’s mom’s help and she was a super teacher who over-extended her brief and taught me how to manage the domestic side of life. I used to find juggling work, home, in-laws, baby and our respective extended families quite tough and not wanting to trip up I was paranoid. Gradually with Sanjay’s help we made things simple and do-able - Mala Bali
Daughter-in-law plays her partManaging my parents and family, drawing the line with them in places where well-meaning was not necessarily well received was a hard lesson in renegotiating boundaries. Sanjay’s parents didn’t drink or eat non vegetarian food and were particularly sensitive on that front so respecting their sensitivities and managing the kitchen was down to me. I took Sanjay’s mom’s help and she was a super teacher who over-extended her brief and taught me how to manage the domestic side of life. I used to find juggling work, home, in-laws, baby and our respective extended families quite tough and not wanting to trip up I was paranoid. Gradually with Sanjay’s help we made things simple and do-able.
Camaraderie between both parentsSays Mala, “It is amazing how different our parents were and yet how well they clicked. The four of them would spend the mornings together, eat breakfast and lunch and socialise with visiting relatives on both sides. With Aditeya’s coming they got too busy to miss me, I was at work. After I lost my father, they stayed with mom and Sanjay’s mom took charge of the house for a while giving her all the support, and space to recover. I loved her for it.
The path of true love was never smooth, remarks Sanjay, “from bachelor heaven to the world of inlaws, I had to learn to share newspapers and often come home to a drink with them, which was just culturally strange and unsettling. I couldn’t see myself doing this with mine. Mala’s father was a tea connoisseur who mixed his own tea and trusted no one but himself to make it. Father–inlaw making tea every morning was too much to deal with. And the pressure to produce a baby, I couldn’t believe how embarrassingly direct they were! We had Aditeya in October 1993 and while we were thrilled ,Mala’s father was over the moon. They were inseparable. Mala went back to work when he was a few months old and my inlaws and he turned into a threesome. Everywhere they went he went, including waiting outside the High Court as a little toddler for Nana to wrap up his cases and regale them with stories after.’’ Mala took two year sabbaticals both times she had children. Her first one started well before a baby was ever in question and for that she never stopped cursing the Eicher policy. Was it difficult to get back to work? Says Mala,“I was really anxious and stressed but finding a job was surprisingly not as difficult as I’d thought. When you are professionally qualified, willing to learn and dirty your hands, you also get employed. From Eicher to DHL the harder part was transitioning into a new role. Coming from a Plant set up where I’d managed Training, HR Operations was a steep learning curve. Plus my heart lay in Training which I had absolutely nothing to do with expect organize so it was frustrating not to do the things I wanted and knew I was good with. After I had Adiraj 3 years later I then joined PwC HRConsulting. It was my first stint in consulting which I’ve grown to love.’’
Values from grandparentsSanjay says he is indebted to Mala’s mother for the values she gave the children. “We were lucky because Mala’s mom was a big educationist. She was born in Burma where she had her early education. She finished schooling in Dehradun after her father retired and settled there and went on pursue BSc and MSc at Isabella Thorburn College, Lucknow. She became a Chemist and taught at IT for 13 years. While there she received a scholarship and went to Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT), Boston in the mid 1950’s to spend a year studying there.’’ She had enough stories to tell the children and education, cross cultural differences, hers travel featured big time.’’ Adds Mala,“My mother’s my hero. Aditeya and Adiraj blossomed in her love and care. From bird watching expeditions at the Okhla barrage at 5 a.m to watch migrating Siberian cranes, to dried flower and leaf collections, yoga, and swimming, baking and reading they had a whale of a time. A voracious reader, she also had a large collection of stamps and coins that took up hours to research and maintain. No TV with nani. There was so much to do and learn.
“Having been a teacher she was an asset at the PTA’s which she attended with great gusto. It was what she’d done all her life and she loved carrying on. Teachers warmed up to her and forgot to crib in the face of her vast experience and earnestness. She didn’t expect any favours but her fine sense of balance put things in perspective. She set the standards and had us all accountable for our bit. The kids were expected to do their work, I was expected to ensure it was done and she would intervene if needed. She was particular about work and attending school.’’
Opposite poles attract but…
Sanjay, adds, “Problems of plenty, multiple options when it comes to dressing up and the indecisiveness of wearing this or that, gets my goat when we have to go out. And with the kids it’s when they are careless, leave things lying around - I hate it.’’
So, what are the similarities between them? Sanjay says, “We are very sensitive to vibes and Mala makes a lot of effort to keep our home perceptibly warm and positive which I really appreciate. There are a few things we are completely alike in, for example our love for art and we choose together. I’m now used to her picking up something we’d really liked and creating an occasion if there isn’t one to induct it into the house. I’m fanatically clean and she has exquisite taste. I’m glad we’ve become a blend of both.’’
If you ask the CEOs what their top most priority is, at least 50 per cent of them would want to get good talent for their own company and create a talent succession pipeline. From that perspective, no company can ignore the invaluable contribution of HR. - Sanjay Bali
Philosophy in children’s’ upbringingSanjay: I believe discipline is important. As far as kids are concerned there is the old saying if you repeat an act, a habit is formed, if you repeat a habit and it becomes character; your character becomes your destiny. So discipline is the bottomline. They have to keep doing the right things and I don’t tire of reminding them.” We are against an entitlement mentality. The nature of achievement is personal and it’s based on what you do and not what you inherit. Both my boys understand right from childhood, they have to create a professional world, earn a living and make a name for themselves.
Mala: I’m a parent first and take delight in who my children are. I’ve created a home and nurtured an atmosphere that we all want to come back to everyday. Sometimes it takes roots and sometimes the children want to fly so I keep my eyes and ears open to go with the flow. Every beetle is a gazelle in the eyes of its mother.
Sanjay: Beetles and gazelles, really we don’t live in a jungle. My father was working in the Railways and I learnt from him how important it is to tell children their boundaries. You can’t tell them you are infinite because everybody has finite resources. Once they understand that boundary, they talk sense. They can’t come and tell me tomorrow, you don’t have a Ferrari because someone else has it. They understand what my finite resources are. So subtly and not crudely you need to tell them where you stand.
There are differences in life with thousands below you, and thousands above you, but what you have can always improve with a little bit of hard work. Character is destiny, the root of which is hard work and making it your habit you can do something better in life.
With both of us working, we don’t depend on parents to do stuff around the house. Our support system is set up to deliver that. Says Mala, “our staff which is the driver, cleaner and household help have been with us for 19 years. The cook regretfully retired 3 years back. Adiraj was born in front of them. They are an integral part of our family and keep an eye out for the kids.’’
How about holidays?Mala: Fabulous and too few to name. I love nature and top of my list would be Great Wall of China, Great Barrier Reef, the Tropical Rainforests, Kerala’s Backwaters, the Himachali treasures, African Safari, the list could go on. I miss doing these with family because in the last 8 years we haven’t been able to get away on a family vacation. Mom was ailing and we did not want to leave her and then the kids had their boards so those years were out. Sanjay: That’s true, the last and best holiday we had was eight years back when we went to Tanzania where my brother was. Serengeti National Park was magnificent and the migration of the wildebeest in Gorongoro still gives me goose bumps. It is one of the best wildlife sanctuaries in the world.
Their take on HRSo, what does HR mean to a company today? What’s the multi-national perspective?
Elaborates Sanjay, “Companies innovate, they invest in technologies and reap in money at a given time. HR is all about how to manage the lifecycle of an employee and how to create an HR brand for your organisation. This involves so many things from the perspective of an HR. So that whole journey makes it very beautiful.
So, how important is HR today, in the backdrop of attrition? Says Sanjay, “If you ask the CEOs what their top most priority is, at least 50 per cent of them would want to get good talent for their own company and create a talent succession pipeline. From that perspective, no company can ignore the invaluable contribution of HR.
“Today’s generation is more aware, well connected and has immense information on its fingertips, thanks to Google. If you are able to give this generation the value that use of technology should be for the right purpose, it will do a wonderful job for the country
Minds of young corporate managersWhen asked about his views on young corporate managers who freshly enter the industry today, Sanjay feels, “when we graduated, we felt more comfortable in companies which had manufacturing facilities. But today it’s a technology driven world and so you have youngsters wanting to launch their startups, create service companies – in short, a business model through the help of technology. Two or three decades back, it was unimaginable to join a Robotic company, just as investing in Infosys seemed unwise -- but IT is a buzzword in India today.”
However, Sanjay rues that youngsters today quit their jobs too easily. “This generation is more competent, but my only advice is give some time for success. Quitting jobs often gives an impression that we are not secure people. So that gap needs to be bridged. You need to be patient, you need to learn, there is no short-cut for success and you have to get that experience to grow in life.‘’
As a consultant it does not help to become judgemental about differences because as the project spirals out and grows it is critical to explain key actions to diverse stakeholders - Mala Bali
Mala’s take: “This generation aspires to do professionally, socially and materially better than their parents Young corporate managers are more mobile, adaptive and handle a larger spectrum of choices at younger ages. There are many more foreign educated and travelled people and people who’ve worked abroad and want to come back to create greater value. Of course there’s significantly greater use of technology both at home and work enabling multi-tasking and managing hectic social and travel calendars.
But there are critical skills to be acquired like learning on the fly, being organized, picking up requests / suggestions from senior management, timely sharing of information, time management, asking for help when the going gets tough, knowing when to stop and not letting open issues drift. People who want to work internationally need to understand business on a global scale, figure what differs country to country and not overthink challenges and end up overcomplicating things. So building the right skills is as important as aspiring to do better.
Humility essential for youngstersSanjay: If you look at the India government report, you have educated people but not skilled enough to be employed. A youngster feels if I do a summer internship in a good company, I am stable, which is a misnomer. The gap comes from this short term approach. However, people are willing to groom them if they are humble. Humility has to be taught, for it is the most important thing when you start and don’t know anything about the company. Last year with Samsung, I had some 90 people from IIM, XLRIs and everybody wanted to be in a strategic planning role. Strategy is fine but what about execution and implementation of plans? I want execution to come first. I think that ability to learn execution in the market is what will be the greater asset of youngsters today.
The urban vs rural competencySanjay: I think the trend has already started changing. For example it came to the FMCG companies much before and maybe not in a highly structured manner. For example Procter & Gamble may have 80 people on the company’s role, but they have 1500 sales managers attached to their distributors and these distributors are there for the last15-20 years. These grassroots professionals require a different level and kind of expertise. Those from premier colleges may be misfits for this kind of job. Samsung has 6000 service engineers working on HCL, Reliance and those who have service contracts with us. A decade back, you went to an innocuous AC repair shop whose owner might be educated or not, but today an engineer from XYZ college does that repair job for you. As a customer you certainly get far more confidence in the engineer.
The trend of consultancyMala:
In my work I help companies to spot talent early in the game and help prepare them for leadership roles. We run a whole development process like a development cycle or coaching or a combination of both. This adds value by identifying the right folks and shortening their development cycles through targeted exposure.
The development cycles are all customised to the participant groups and get them to go beyond their usual boundaries in very different ways. These range from classrooms, outdoor simulations, customer impact assessments, action learning projects which can be live projects in new functional / geographical areas. For most as it starts to come together there is often a sense of disbelief in what a disparate group has managed to accomplish and the value it has managed to create. To see people move into their aspirational roles, break functional silos and move into general management is satisfaction unparalleled. To see them inspiring others is a beautiful transformation. I know some good must be coming out of this because I have clients who are now on their 4th and 5th project and want to take the work to more people because they see value in it.
Women in the corporate worldMala: What I am noticing right now about the role of women is that it is being seen in the context of economic and social issues of today. Change has begun and among educated women one can see shifts in mind-sets. The desire to manage the best of both the professional and personal worlds, knowing when to choose one and let go of another or how much of each to hang on to. There is no right or wrong; it is just what feels right. As to why there are so few women at the top positions in India, this went viral since the 2012 release of the Randstad India’s Workmonitor survey.
We see 76 per cent respondents believe there are not enough women in top positions in their organizations, even though 89 per cent women want to take up leadership roles. We know the lack of these opportunities is one of the reasons why Indian women are leaving jobs to pursue their passions or walk away because they’ve had enough. Many of those opting for entrepreneurship including me are excited by the prospects of continuing to work, managing the pace and managing our family. So ‘how can one have an exciting, challenging and lucrative high flying career and still be a good mother and wife remains an important question which doesn’t have a single answer?
In the kind of work that I do which is inclusive and developmental in flavour it would have been a real shame to exclude my own family. Inspired by the challenges my clients take on and their sense of responsibility and commitment to themselves I found I could give up familiar ways and habits and learn to enjoy myself in a new rhythm and structure. So I got back to exams and certifications, supervised practice for that rap on the knuckle, networking with the best folks in the world and finding I have an unbelievably talented peer group with super levels of advocacy. It’s fun to make up the rules as you go along.
By Vinita Deshmukh
