It is not often these days that a college romance fructifies into a wedlock. Corporate Citizen unlocks the story of love that has culminated into marriage, for we believe in the stability of a relationship and family unit. We bring to you real-life romances that got sealed in marriage
Married for over five years now, Neha Gunthey and Vivek Singh Negi are of the opinion that a steady relationship is all about simplicity, support and respect
If you want someone in your life sincerely enough you will find a way to keep them, simple but abiding belief that works beautifully for Neha Gunthey (31) and Vivek Singh Negi (32). It matters little, therefore , that she’s a Maharashtrian from UP, and he a Garwhali from MP.
“Everything depends on your mutual understanding, or the lack of it,” says Neha. “When a romance does not culminate into marriage, people tend to blame parents and cultural differences. But all of this is superfluous. If you honestly care for someone, you will find a way to make it come true.”
Married for all of five years, it’s been a fun and rewarding journey-based on the foundation of a relationship that commenced during their student days at BITM.
Both hold an MBA in marketing, and are well-placed in their respective careers: while Neha’s an analyst with Crisil, Vivek’s a manager with Ericsson India.
Despite the demands of their careers and living in a city far from both sides of the family, neither is fazed by the pressure of work or life. “If you respect and understand each other, everything falls into place,” says Vivek.
So whether it is household chores or money management, spending quality time with each other or keeping that crucial work-life balance, it’s all about letting the situation decide what should be more important. “For instance, he would prefer me to spend my time reading or studying instead of housework. If I am tired, he’s the last one to insist I cook, and will smilingly ask for a takeaway. It is this practical show of support that makes life with him so easy,” expresses Neha.
No surprises here though-given that their relationship is grounded in good old friendship.
It all started with a fashion show as part of the students’ cultural programme at BITM in 2006. “We were part of the same sequence. As you know, fashion shows are all about coordination and timing. Amidst the laughter and bonhomie, we gradually began opening up to each other,” reminisces Neha.
From the outset there was mutual attraction and interest in each other. “I loved her positivity and smiling visage. It’s very engaging,” says Vivek. “Besides, she’s a go-getter and full of drive. That adds to the appeal.”
On her part, Neha appreciated his fun-loving, hassle-free manner. Gradually they began to hang out together and know each other better. “We did not get much time together in college, as the schedule was both packed and strict,” recollects Neha. “But I remember this wonderful bike ride once, wherein we really got talking. Slowly and surely, it began to dawn on us that it would be nice to spend our lives together.”
Even so, family approval was not forthcoming. “My parents were fine with it; his were not, especially due to differences in caste. But he persisted in pressing our case, with every-one-though he’s essentially this peace-loving soul, who does not care for conflict of any sort.”
Come Saturday morning, Vivek would be up early to leave his Gurgaon home to meet his sister and brother-in-law in Delhi to convince them that Neha was the girl for him. “It was really quite an eye-opener for me, the way he fought to make sure I was part of his life,” says Neha. “A lot of couples submit way too easily saying, “we can’t go against our parents! I don’t buy the argument! Who’s asking you to go against your parents? Win them over!”
Finally, in 2010, Vivek’s family gave their blessings and the couple was duly wed in November 2010.
“Honestly, it’s not been that tough. Sure there was a difference in rituals, but my mother-in- law gently showed me how things are done in their home. As for me, I have tried to remain as receptive and open as possible,” says Neha.
Simple North Indian fare is cooked at home, and both savour on their favourite daal baati with plenty of hot ghee each chance they get. “I am a good cook that way,” smiles Neha.
While Vivek is not very handy around the house, he does not make an issue of having things in a particular manner only. “He does not insist on everything being museum perfect. Besides, he’s very encouraging of my career plans and growth,” she says.
Like the tough time in the recession of 2009 when Neha gave up her sales job because the profile and work did not suit her. Looking back, it was absolutely the wrong time to give up work. “The US crisis had hit hard. Jobs were tough to come by. This was just before our wedding. But Vivek was very positive and helpful, often accompanying me to meet different people,” she recollects.
That was the time she considered taking a break from work and staying home. But he said “No, you should work. You won’t be the same confident person you are today, and will regret it later on,” she recalls. “He’s very progressive in his thoughts, and I really appreciate that.”
As of today, the couple stays at Kandivali, Mumbai.
“We make it a point to spend quality time together,” says Vivek. “Everyone must know what their priorities are, be it at work or home.” Weekends are fun affairs with short trips to Pune and Lonavala, to say nothing of get togethers with friends, and restaurant hopping. “We are both big time foodies and love trying out different stuff,” grins Neha.
Everything depends on your mutual understanding, or the lack of it. When a romance does not culminate into marriage, people tend to blame parents and cultural differences. But all of this is superfluous. If you honestly care for someone, you will find a way to make it come true
Despite the rough and tumble of the corporate world, both Neha and Vivek are firm that ultimately, it’s only the two people at the heart of the relationship who are responsible for its welfare. “It took time but without ruffling feathers, we managed to persuade our elders to accept us,” says Vivek. “Every situation has a resolution if you look for it.”
Similarly, ego and money are the biggest deal-breakers in the corporate set-up. “Neither of us understands couples fighting over ‘your’ money and ‘my money,” Neha shakes her head. “It’s absurd to fight over such things. Also, with time, certain gender roles have blurred. Who- so ever understands finance better-be it husband or wife-ought to take care of them. “It does not help when either one becomes egotistic over success and belittles the partner. “Both men and women are guilty of it... and it’s not right,” says Neha. “Respect at all times is crucial. Both partners have equal rights in a marriage, and each one is entitled to their opinion. It’s OK to have differences, but one must live and let live.”
While the couple does not have kids yet, they have discussed the same. Ever the supportive husband, Vivek feels she ought to get back to work post the maternity leave. “My parents have agreed to help out, so Neha can work. The corporate world is quite competitive and breaks cost your career. I would not want her to lose out in any way and will help however I can,” he rounds off.
By Kalyani Sardesai
