It is not often these days that a college romance fructifies into a wedlock. Corporate Citizen unlocks the story of love that has culminated into marriage, for we believe in the stability of a relationship and family unit. We bring to you real-life romances that got sealed in marriage
There’s a saying about wine-and relationships-acquiring new flavours with time. It’s certainly true in this case. Vinit Deo and Prajakta Shetye Deo on the importance of consistently working at your equation with your spouse- even if you go back together a long way. After all, each day is a new story
She credits him with giving flight to her dreams; he says she gives him direction. He thrives on taking risks, while she is the timely voice of caution. He believes in thinking out of the box; she excels at being the grounding factor.
Little wonder that this symbiosis of complementary energies has helped the young couple take on so many ‘challenges’ (their favourite word!) successfully early on in life. Qualified chartered accountants both, by training - they started their careers and marriage 12 years back, with a dream to do something different with their life. “Both of us are from simple, middle-class Maharashtrian homes. We had a sound education, and were willing to work hard, though,” says Vinit.
Vinit is Chairman and MD of Posiview Consulting Partners Pvt Ltd, a first real estate and infrastructure focused investment bank and financial advisory company based in Pune and with offices in Mumbai and Goa.
All of this came up, since he quit his job in 2005. “It was definitely a risk. We were newly married and had a home loan to repay, but it was now or never,” he reminisces.
Prajakta lent him all her support-initially by continuing with her job at HSBC Global Technology, Pune, and eventually by joining the company. Today, even as their second child has grown up a bit, she has rejoined work with Posiview Ventures - a distinct entity under the Posiview umbrella that focuses exclusively on partnering with early stage entrepreneurs and start-ups for mentoring them in building sound business plans and raising the critical seed and venture capital funding for growth. “It is, by and large, an independent unit. I help out only if asked,” says Vinit.
It is precisely this mutual respect for each other that has run like a continuous thread all through their 20-year-old association.
They first met as classmates at Pune’s Brihan Maharashtra College of Commerce in Rs.95.
Disturbed by the 1993 communal riots of Mumbai, Prajakta’s family had decided to move to Pune. With an academic score of 91.5 percent she was a shoo-in to take up any course of her choice, but decided to opt for commerce. Naturally, her name figured on top of the admission list.
At second place was the name Vinit Deo - with an average score of 90.5 percent. And that’s how it all started. “Initially, he was just another geeky guy who I had to beat in the exams,” smiles Prajakta.
Bit by bit their association grew. Through a shared circle of friends that hung out together, through the vocational batch that specially started for bright kids, through coaching classes for CA entrance - and so on.
Both were bright and popular with a strong presence on campus. While she was impressed with his ability to reach out to people and get things done - be it cultural meets or projects, he definitely noticed the quiet but determined young girl - with a mind of her own. “What struck me as amazing was that while on the one hand, she was correct and propah and disciplined in her approach, on the other, she also had a fiercely singular ability to demand change, if she had to.”
‘‘I really don’t believe romance is about flowers and candlelight dinners. That’s just so trite. Instead, romance is about adding that little bit extra to the ordinary moments’’
By then, they were a part of each other’s friend circles - with frequent visits to each other’s homes for meals, study sessions and projects.
CA exams over, Prajakta was placed with ICICI Bank in Mumbai. Unfortunately, Vinit still had a backlog to clear. “Right up to this point we had been together in every way. But now, I had a job, and Vinit did not. My parents had started looking out for suitable marital alliances for me - as a logical progression of events. But given the tight spot that Vinit was in, how could I tell them about us?
Not one to give up this easily, Vinit busied himself with clearing the exams - and frequently dropped in at her place as well, further endearing himself to her parents.
Eventually, things fell into place and he bagged a fine job at Times of India, Mumbai. Prajakta spoke to her parents - and they were delighted it was Vinit.
“I would say the first few years of our marriage were rather average - given that we knew each other very well. But since then, it has been a process of reverse discovery or figuring out some new facet about each other. Of course, it has to be a conscious decision as well - to keep pushing at the edges of your relationship. You do that for your friends and extended family, right?
Then why take your partner for granted?” avers Prajakta.
So be it putting together reading lists - all the better to discuss new authors and genres - and finding another talking point, to planning little surprises for each other, to attending musical concerts and cultural events they both enjoy, the Deos are a team.
“I really don’t believe romance is about flowers and candlelight dinners. That’s just so trite. Instead, romance is about adding that little bit extra to the ordinary moments,” shares Vinit.
Enthusiastic foodies, both enjoy experimenting with different cuisine, even as Prajakta enjoys cooking up a storm featuring her famous ukadiche modak and puran polis for everyone.
Both are culturally proud and spiritual, provided the ritual or practice makes rational sense. “Just because something bears the stamp of tradition, does not mean it is necessarily right. At the same time, we believe that our children ought to know and understand their culture in the deep sense,” says Prajakta.
The couple has made a conscious choice that Prajakta takes most of the decisions with regard to their girls - Maithilee (9) and Gargi (6). “But even as I decide the path, he helps me out by helping create newer and more meaningful experiences around the path,” says Prajakta. For instance, buying tickets to a Bharatnatyam concert - so that Maithilee who is learning the dance form gets to enjoy someone’s art as well. Or helping the artistic Gargi with her craft projects. “He’s a hands-on-dad and that helps,” she says. “Even if we disagree with each other over a point, we do not react there and then. Instead, we talk it out when we are alone.”
All this involves work, but Vinit is willing to go that extra mile by helping out with the kids and clearing up. “Similarly, investment banking is a high-pressure zone and when he’s working on a complex deal, I understand that he needs to be in a different headspace and I let him take it easy at home. It’s this give and take, without verbalizing it every time, that makes the relationship stronger,” says Prajakta.
By Kalyani Sardesai
