It is not often these days that college romance fructifies into a wedlock. Corporate Citizen unlocks the story of love that has culminated into marriage, for we believe in the stability of a relationship and family unit. We bring to you real life romances that got sealed in marriage.
When 2 Statesreleased last year, audiences came away charmed by a modern couple Hindi cinema that never seen before. A high achieving couple that went to MBA college, he from Punjab; she from Tamil Nadu, different as chalk and cheese, and yet deeply in love. Both chose their careers and took their own decisions about the life partner they wanted even though their parents were far from pleased about the difference in backgrounds. But then, the hero took it upon himself to convince the girl’s parents of his determination to marry their girl in that most Indian of ways respectful of elders’ opinions, despite the fact that both could have walked out together, hand in hand.
Even as the audience had a hearty laugh at the absurdities of cultural prejudice and the comedy of errors one young couple probably enjoyed the longest laugh of all to say nothing of a deep satisfaction at having made it together.
Where there’s love there’s a way even across seemingly diverse cultural backgrounds. He is a Bengali from Nashik, she a true blue Delhi Punjabi. Together, they’ve made their marriage and life work Meet Shweta and Kabir Mitra...
Undoubtedly, Kabir and Shweta Mitra (both 32) feel like it was their story being played out on screen. He is a Bengali, she Punjabi both met during their respective MBA courses. (He has a degree in MBA (HR); she’s an MBA marketing but that was not how and where love happened. “She had heard I was a big flirt, and kept a firm distance from me,” grins Kabir.
But then, both were placed at Ramco Systems, Chennai and had little choice but to get along. “I told her: look, we’re both newcomers to this city and job; either we choose to stay aloof and make things tough, or we can choose to get along. She saw my point,” says Kabir.
Gradually, both found themselves thrown together in different ways. “I discovered that she had several qualities that I admired. She was friendly and helpful whenever I needed help, yet utterly professional. I liked her clarity of approach, her patience and maturity,” he says
For her part, Shweta slowly grew to suspect that maybe there was more to Kabir than his outgoing persona. “He is persistent, committed, focussed and loyal. Those are amazing traits in anyone,” she says.
Honestly, we have no issue with it. Each to their own. If couples want to know each other before tying the knot so be it. However, even there, commitment is important. Don’t do it, if you do not intend getting married Shweta
Both took their time getting to know each other it was a year before Kabir proposed on a beach at that. Despite the romantic setting, Shweta non-commital. “Honestly, I did not think my parents would agree,” she says.
However, Kabir had made up his mind. He was more serious about her than anything else in his life
“I have always been this easy going person,” says Kabir, currently working with Newgen Software Technologies as head of the consulting practice. “Be it studies or anything else, things always fell in place for me. Not this time. If I wanted Shweta in my life, I had to make it happen.”
It was not enough to move to Delhi. Kabir had to plan his strategy carefully. “Any Durga Pujo Bhakt will have you know that one must never touch in the middle where it is the hottest one must begin from the coolest Kichree side,” he says
He first met Shweta’s mom and enlisted her to his side. “She liked me, and soon became a partner in crime, “he grins. With one caveat while she would support the young couple, she would ultimately go with whatever her husband said
On the other hand, Kabir’s parents had taken to Shweta at the first meeting-declaring her to be a fine mix of assertive and loving qualities
However, convincing her papa was the biggest hurdle of all. They, the Sehgals were business people and Punjabis, how would their daughter adjust to such a different home post marriage?
“I remember this dinner with her family and relatives where they had ordered a big, fat meal complete with tandoori chicken and other delicacies. There was much laughter and bonhomie everyone was kind to Kabir, except for one thing no one was ready to discuss the shaadi.Finally, he broached the subject directly with papaji. To which he replied casually: “Forget it, my boy. That won’t happen.”
But it did. One by one Kabir met Shweta’s relatives and everyone loved him on sight. The final authority who gave her approval was Shweta’s papaji who passed him with a: “kitna sona munda hai.” (What a fine lad he is!
Papaji agreed and the couple enjoyed a destination wedding in 2011 in Goa. “It was a fun Punjabi wedding with lots of noise, colour and laughter and everyone’s blessings.”
So how does a kitchen work between a Punjabi and Bengali post shaadi?“Perfectly well,” they reply. “We really don’t understand this fuss about tera and mera.It causes so much unnecessary tension. There are so many educated, modern couples who have wasted time on this trivial matter. When you get hitched, everything becomes hamara (ours.) Celebrations should have strands of both cultures even as you simultaneously add a third, new flavour to both your lives. That’s how you bring harmony to your life.”
So, even as the Punjabi khana with dollops of ghee enjoys a special place on their table, other veg and non-veg preparations of Bengali and Maharashtrian origin jostle for space too. Each festival is celebrated with double the fun.
Living in Gurgaon with their three- year-old boy Vivaan, life is busy and happy. While Shweta’s parents are on hand to help out, she divides her time at home and work (she’s employed as a senior business analyst with Wipro.) Kabir helps out at home
The approach applies to careers as well. “We have decided that whoever is soaring in his/her career at that point should be given all help by the other partner,” she says. So even as Kabir is travelling frequently these days, given his demanding schedule, he is prepared for the demands of Shweta’s career as well, in the days to come. Given the short term nature of corporate romances, how does their relationship pan out? “When you decide to get married, you must be prepared for adjustments. Spend time with each other, demarcate office and family time, and above all, remember that the success of marriage is between two people alone and no third party can be blamed or credited with the same. It’s upto you to decide to what extent someone else can and should have an influence in your life,” says Shweta. “Another reason that marriages collapse is that the partners are not able to balance career and family time. Extremes never work.”
Kabir seconds her on this. “We are particular about taking short trips, watching movies and frequenting restaurants in short spending quality time with each other,” he says
Parenting is another area where the couple needs to be in sync with each other. “Vivaan is the first grandchild from both sides of the family. Naturally, his grandparents dote on him. But neither of us are pampered and we make sure he is not either,” says Shweta firmly. “Things must be given to him at the right time, and for the right reason.”
While they both are committed family people what do they think of the increasing trend of live in relationships. “Honestly, we have no issue with it. Each to their own. If couples want to know each other before tying the knot so be it. However, even there, commitment is important. Don’t do it, if you do not intend getting married eventually,” says Shweta.
By Kalyani Sardesai
