Place: Hyderabad.
The purpose of my presence there: To attend the National HRD Network (NHRDN) National Convention.
When it was decided that the prestigious National Convention of NHRDN would be organised in Hyderabad, it's Chapter President from Hyderabad visited us. It was mutually agreed upon that 10 of my students would be sent to Hyderabad, one month in advance, to volunteer and assist in the various activities related to the organisation of the Convention.
Th us, we sent the students to Hyderabad, at our cost (including the cost of their lodging and boarding). Subsequently, one computer lab with 60 computers, 60 mobiles, 60 landline telephones and 60 full time students under the leadership of a senior professor was provided to work from Pune as the back office of NHRDN to market the Convention all over India, for a month.
Sri Balaji Society was the Platinum sponsor. So, besides those 60 students, another 40 students, some of the faculty members and myself, were attending as delegates from Sri Balaji Society. Not a single rupee was charged to the organisers for any kind of their expenditure. But, the ‘feeling’ that we were part of the most successful NHRDN conference was great. It was an excellent learning experience. That is what we always wanted. That is why we used to allot some budget to this kind of educative events. Dr Santrupt Mishra gave us the biggest recognition may be the professor in him is active. During the valedictory session of NHRDN conference in Mumbai he asked the student volunteers to walk through thousands of delegates and who’s who of the industry such as Shri Kumarmangalam Birla, Shri Mukesh Ambani and many others and acknowledged the students which is still cherished by all of us. Shri T Hari went one step ahead; he invited all the 100 students for a grand evening in a farm house in Hyderabad at the end of the NHRDN conference. Such great memories are attached with NHRDN events. Though we did partner with many other events, I can safely say that there is no parallel to NHRDN National or Regional conventions. Full of learning opportunities, fellowships, excitement, entertainment and what not. The next NHRDN convention is scheduled to be held in New Delhi at Taj Place on 19th and 20th Nov 2015.
But this article is not about conferences but about ‘situations’ where we fail; where we succumb to pressure; where we make mistakes and live with guilt feelings for life. If that is so, why should NHRDN crop up here? Because, I went through ‘this’ incident during the course of NHRDN convention in Hyderabad. And, when I went through the memories the positive vibrations came first. And now, here comes the case study
It was the 2nd day of the Convention at Hyderabad. At about midnight, I received a desperate telephone call from one of the girl students, residing in our girl’s hostel in Pune. She was crying, uncontrollably and it took me some time to console her (without knowing anything) and to make her speak about the reason for her distress. Finally, she said, “I have been raped. How am I going to live in this world? And it has been done by a classmate of mine outside the campus when we went for dinner.’’ She was also giving an impression of attempting suicide. I was shocked. I explained to her that, since she has not committed any mistake, she should not blame herself. I assured her that, “I would be coming there tomorrow and will deal with the guilty student very firmly and in the way you want me to deal with it.’
I immediately called up two lady directors and also her hostel mates to shadow this child and to ensure that the child does not take any drastic step as she has gone through a traumatic experience. I also cautioned them to keep the matter under wraps so that the boy doesn’t run away. Maintaining her reputation was the other issue. I also asked the lady directors to find out more about the episode. I came to know that it had taken place in a flat where some of their friends were staying (non-hostelites). But, the incident was occupying my mind fully. I decided to seek the advice of veteran friends attending the convention. I utilized this opportunity to share the information with three senior directors separately in a room and also sought their advice, as to how to handle the case.
Three different opinions emerged. One was that, the girl should file a police case and the institute should help her in doing so. Two, the institute should inform the parents and we need not take any responsibility for the incident, as both of them were adults and they went for a night out, by mutual consent, outside the institute, where this incident took place. Three, the girl should be counselled and the boy involved should be rusticated, besides reporting the matter to the police.
I took a flight and returned to Pune. In the meantime, two lady directors had taken the child under their wings, consoling her and taking good care of her. Two girl students were assigned not to leave her, even when she goes to the toilet. Although my house is close to the airport, I did not go there and reached the campus straight from the airport.
On reaching the campus, I called the High Power Committee (HPC) of Sri Balaji Society, which comprises all the Directors. They were briefed by these two learned lady directors. Th e committee decided to call the parents of both the boy and girl as they were supposed to have been in love. The committee also felt that we should verify the ‘love’ angle and if it is so, we should suggest marriage. All the aspects were discussed thread bare at the meeting which went on for four hours. The Students Council was actively involved in the discussion. I must say, that, I had always bowed before the collective wisdom.
The committee was in two opinion of whether to inform the parents of the girl. I also heard the affected girl but she repeatedly insisted that we should not inform her parents. “My father will kill me and also kill himself,’’ was the stand taken by the girl student.
The HPC opined that I should meet her alone, talk to her and decide the future course of action. I called the girl; she was still uncontrollably crying. It took me at least one hour to bring her to her normal senses. I was very angry with the boy, and had decided to hand him over to the police immediately. But the girl cried and pleaded, “No Sir. You should not go to the police.’’
She was crying, uncontrollably and it took me some time to console her (without knowing anything) and to make her speak about the reason for her distress. Finally, she said, ‘‘I have been raped. How am I going to live in this world? And it has been done by a classmate of mine’’
I told her that under the laws of the land, we have to report to the police. But since she refused, we thought of filing a case on our own. We approached the police, but they said, “Unless we have a written complaint from the affected person, we cannot file a case.’’ I called the aggrieved girl again and told her that as a responsible organization, we should inform her parents. She said, “If you inform my father, or the police, I will commit suicide.’’
I was in a fix as I was in a tricky situation. I was expected to take legal and appropriate action. We called the parent of the boy but were delaying the call to the girl’s father due to the fear that she may take some drastic step. And at the other end, I was stonewalled by the police as, they insisted on a written complaint. So, the ball was in our court.
In the meantime, the parents of the allegedly accused boy had landed in Pune. To add fuel to the fire, the boy felt something fishy going on against him as she was not picking up his call. Th en came the shocking suicide note which he posted in his Facebok, ‘Enough is enough. Thanks to everyone who helped me. Bye.’ We had to put some students to protect the boy till such time we met his parents. His father was a thorough gentleman and was under tremendous tension. How to open the topic was the big question. A panel comprising me and two lady Directors were nominated to deal with the parents.
After the preliminaries we told the father of the boy, “What happened is a fact. The messages shown by the girl, confirms that. Already, the news is leaking out. It is very difficult for your son to exist in this environment. So, in the interest of your own son, take him away. We will refund his entire college fees.’’
The father replied with tears rolling out from his eyes and his hands shivering, “Sir you are like God to us. If you say so, I consider that it is the right thing to do. I will take my son away.
We were relieved of some tension. The girl expressed her satisfaction and requested us to close the matter. Two to three days passed by. After collecting the refund of the fees, the boy came to see me in my room. Till then I had not even seen him. I had not even bothered to call him and confront him, after hearing the complaint from the girl. In our mind he was guilty. He introduced himself and said, “Sir, I thought that you are God, but you did not do justice to me. You did not even ask me whether I have done it or not. You did not bother to find out whether the incident happened and if so, whether it was a forced one or consensual one. A person of your stature should have investigated into these aspects of the case. Your enquiry was one sided. My fault is I am not a girl. Now that I am leaving, I want to tell you that I am innocent but I am leaving because you have given the direction to do so. You may not trust me and I don’t want you to trust me but I am giving you a small audio recording on CD, where the discussion between her and me, in the week before the incident, is recorded. I am leaving it for you to hear it and once you do so, you will not be able to sleep. You won’t be able to either reverse the decision or apologise to me. And that is the punishment which I give to you.’’
When we heard the audio, we realized that the boy was not to be blamed. Actually, it was the girl who instigated him and wanted an experience. The tape also revealed that the girl was involved in another love affair and that boyfriend of hers, came searching for her and had caught both of them red-handed. The only way the girl could get out of the situation, was to cry foul about the night out with the other one.
Time passed. The girl was in the highest of spirits; she subsequently got a good placement and was gone from the institute. But what happened to the boy? Did I kill his career? I feel guilt-ridden, whenever I think of this boy. But then, what were the other options open to me? I still don’t know!
As a post-mortem, I feel, I was indeed put in a predicament I could not give the boy, the benefit of the doubt and I had to unconditionally go by the girl’s complaint. Was I just or unjust? I leave to you, the reader, to introspect.
Dr (Col.) A. BAlASUBRANANIAN
editor-in-chief
