It is not often these days that college romance fructifies into a wedlock. Corporate Citizen unlocks the story of love that has culminated into marriage, for we believe in the stability of a relationship and family unit. We bring to you real life romances that got sealed in marriage.
The Banerjees are one corporate couple who believe a marriage becomes stronger when both partners are given equal space to breathe and to grow
They had been dating each other long before they took admission for their MBA in HR. From the time of their engineering college days in Nagpur, to be precise. Even so, it took Deep and Shweta Banerjee’s classmates quite some time to believe they were indeed a pair. “That’s because we were just not the types to hang out together 24 x7,” grins Shweta. “Being a couple is great; but that does not mean you don’t pursue other hobbies and projects.” Deep nods in agreement.
Perhaps the complete absence of insecurity stems from long years of friendship, when Deep, a native of Kolkata took admission in the same engineering college as Shweta’s in Nagpur. “Though my family is originally from Orissa, I was born and brought up in Nagpur. Of course, for Deep the city was new.”
Just good friends initially, Deep found himself ‘in sync and totally comfortable’ with this ‘mature girl’ with whom he could converse at length. Even so, proposing to her took him quite a bit of nerve.
“He told me about his feelings sometime in the third year of engineering. I had taken him out for my birthday treat, when he started confiding in me about this wonderful girl who he really liked,” shares Shweta. Intrigued, she asked him to tell her more. But all he would say was that she was a good friend and he was worried about her taking his confession in a negative manner. “I gave him lots of good advice on how to take up the matter further, which he immediately applied to me,” she laughs.
She did not take him seriously at first, but about a year later accepted his proposal. “Initially, it had come as a complete surprise, this proposal from him. I was not even thinking romance. He was just a good friend. But the idea grew on me,” she says. By this time, engineering was over and done with; both took up jobs in different cities before finally pursuing their MBA. It helped that their families did not have major reservations about the match. “Honestly, I was worried as to how my dad would take the news. But he was much more open to the idea of me marrying Deep than I expected him to be. All he was looking for was a sensible guy from a good family and Deep fit the bill,” says Shweta.
Even so, the courtship period had its funny moments. Like the time they were both working on a college assignment for their course. While Deep took up the assignment in Kolkata Shweta stayed with an aunt in Mumbai and pursued the assignment. “On completing the assignment, I decided to pick her up from her aunt’s place so we could spend some time together before rejoining college Pune,” reminisces Deep. Unsure how the aunt would take it, he offered another name and made it out as if he was just a part of a big group. “However, the next time her aunt and I came face to face, it was at our wedding,” smiles Deep. “She recognised me as the guy who had come to pick up her niece, and it was both, hilarious and embarrassing.”
Like several long-standing couples the Banerjees (both 32) are ‘chalk and cheese.’ He is an extrovert, whereas she takes her time to open up. But both describe each other as “genuine” and “giving.”
While he is the more patient one, and she a blunt talker who tells it like it is, both are united by their complete faith in the institution of marriage and family—despite the pressures of the corporate world.
Currently working as Senior Manager (HR) for the RPG Group, at CEAT Ltd, Deep’s work requires him to work out of Mumbai and frequently travel across the country, though the couple is based in Pune. Shweta’s career is similarly demanding—she is a consultant, HCM Oracle at Infosys; a profile that requires her to work in shifts. Between all this, they make time for their two-year-nine-month old son Ankan, even as another little one is on the way. Pray, how do they manage all this?
“With some juggling and plenty of understanding,” says Shweta. The couple has a day time nanny to look after Ankan, with either set of parents staying with them at any given time. “There are ups and downs, but we manage. It helps a lot that Deep does not oppose the demands of my work.”
Given the high pressure backdrop of the corporate world of which they are both a part, what keeps a marriage moving and growing? “For starters knowing each other well is a big plus,” says Deep. “When you decide to get married it must be considered from all angles. Way too often, people take the plunge without considering all aspects of the situation—and then live to regret it. When you take the time and effort to figure out whether your goals and values are a match, it avoids trouble later on.”
The second biggie, as far as they both are concerned---is space. “Both partners must have the others’ graceful support and understanding in all aspects of their life. A prime case in point being that of timings. What if I am working nights in keeping with US timing, and my wife by day in keeping with Indian schedules? In such cases, the only way ahead is to accept the situation for what it is,” he says.
Last but not the least, is “clean and clear communication” with one’s spouse at all times to build an environment of trust. Hiding things from each other, whether big or small, is never a good idea. In short, says Shweta, “looking at the big picture” at all times is important. “You have to believe in marriage to make it work. The corporate world has its share of push and pull---but it’s up to you to stand up for what you believe in. Be true to yourself at all times. Sure, there are people who go from relationship to relationship, but I do believe there is an emotional pay-off somewhere. For our part, marriage was always the only available option.”
Both are non-judgmental about live-in relationships that are a part of modern day life. “Each to their own,” shrugs Deep. “However, in our case the question never did come up. Things were pretty smooth from both families.”
Another point Shweta would emphasize on is the ‘quality of time, any day, over quantity of time.’ One way of doing so is going on long drives and short, impromptu vacations nearby. “Be it by bike or car, we have explored the country by road extensively,” smiles Shweta. “And most of these vacations are totally spontaneous. Every now and then, he’ll come home and say we are taking off to such and such place. I am happy to fall in the line with the mad plan.”
Apart from which, the Banerjees also like exploring different restaurants together. “I go in for the ambience, whereas he is particular about the food. Either way, it is fun to eat out at new places,” she says. Romance, however, has a totally different definition as far as both are concerned. “Ours is not really the candy and flowers kind of bubble-gum world,” smiles Deep. “We have known each other since we were 19, and thus, I guess most of our adult lives have been spent together. Our equation is different.”
By Kalyani SardeSai
